See, we just passed our 6th month mark, and Halloween (today) marks one year since I first met her in person.  For us to have made it this far into our relationship considering the distance is a show of our strength and our willingness to make this work against all odds.....but sometimes I feel like I'm not doing all that I should/can do to make this the best possible relationship I can.  There are many reasons for which I won't say.  Not to try to add mystery to this whole thing....but sometimes you gotta fight your own battles internally and privately.  If the battle within were to consume me, that's when I'd reach out to her for her help...but in all honesty, I can do it on my own.  I need to get over this mental roadblock and move on completely in my life.....because although I am over all my past experiences, I really haven't fully let go.  It's so subconscious that I don't even recognize it.  It HAS to be, because I KNOW deep down inside that things between Shaka and I are supposed to be even more deeper than it is right now.

I think that the fact that I am....I dunno....holding back, is sort of an iniquity towards myself....simply because I spent so many years complaining about the females I encountered.  I've been lucky to have had such a loyal woman.  It's all that I've ever asked for.  When someone asks for the qualities I want in a woman, I always list honesty, loyalty, and intelligence off the top.  I've gotten that....and while I appreciate it, I'm gonna have to learn to appreciate it more.  The words she spoke to me last night touched me and I really just need to soak it all in and remember what I have and what I DIDN'T have all those years......

P.S.) R. Kelly done fucked up...I'm still a fan though

Artist: Lauryn Hill
Song:   The Mystery of Iniquity

It's the mystery of Inquity...
Said it's the misery of Inquity...
Said it's the history of Inquity...
When it all...
All falls down...
Telling you all...
It all falls down

Children...
Eat your bread
Little children...
Eat your bread
Cause it all...
All falls down...
Telling you all...
It all falls down

Yo!
Y'all can't handle the truth in a courtroom of lies
Perjures the jurors, witness despised
Crooked lawyers, false indictments publicized
Its entertainment...the arraignments
The subpoenas
High profile gladiators in bloodthirsty arenas
Enter the Dragon
Black-robe crooked-balance
Souls bought and sold and paroled for thirty talents
Court reporter catch the surface on the paper
File it in the system not acknowledged by the Maker
Swearing by the bible blatantly blasphemous
Publicly perpetrating that "In God We Trust"
Cross-examined by a master manipulator
The faster intimidator
Receiving the judge's favor
Deceiving sabers doing injury to they neighbors
For status, gratis, apparatus and legal waivers
See the bailiff
Representing security
Holding the word of God soliciting perjury
The prosecution
Political prostitution
The more money you pay.. the further away solution
Legal actors
Babylon's benefactors
Masquerading as the agency for the clients
Hypocritical giants
Morally non-compliant
Orally armed to do bodily harm
Polluted, recruited and suited judicial charm
And the defense isn't making any sense
Faking the confidence of escaping the consequence
That a defendant is depending on the system
Totally void of judgment purposely made to twist em'
Emotional victim blackmailed by the henchmen
Framed by intentions
Inventions whereby they lynch men
Enter the false witness slandering the accused
Planting the seed openly showing he's being used
To discredit, edit, headed for the alleged
Smearing the individual fearing the unsuspected
Expert witness (the paid authority)
Made a priority to deceive the majority
Of disinterested peers
Dodging duty for years
Hating the process 
waiting to be returning to their careers
Do we expect the system made for the elect
To possibly judge correct?
Properly serve and protect?
Materially corrupt
Spiritually amuck
Oblivious to the cause
Prosperously bankrupt
Blind leading the blind
Guilty never defined
Filthy as swine
A generation pure in it's own mind
Legal extortion
Blown out of proportion
In vein deceit
The truth is obsolete
Only two positions:
Victimizer or Victim
Both end up in destruction trusting this crooked system
Mafia with diplomas keeping us in a coma trying to own a piece of the "American Corona"
The Revolving Door
Insanity every floor
Skyscraping, paper chasing
What are we working for?
Empty traditions
Reaching social positions
Teaching ambition to support the family superstition?
When the Son of Perdition is Commander in Chief
The standard is Thief
Brethren can we candidly speak?
Woe to the men
Trusted in the chariots dem'
Leaning on horses
They run their intellectual sources
Counterfeit wisdom creating the illusion of freedom
Confusion consumes them
Every word they speak it turns them out really white
Internally they absent of light
trapped in the night and bonded to the Cain of the night
Under the curse
Evil men waxing more worse
Faxing the first
Angelic being cast to the earth
It's time for rebirth
Burnin up the branch and the root
The empty pursuits of every tree bearing the wrong fruit
Turn and be healed
Let him who stole, no longer steal
Oh it's real
Surrender for Jehovah is real
How long will you sleep
Troubled by the thoughts that YOU keep
The idols YOU heap
Causing the destruction you reap
Judgment has come
Find it and return to the One
Abandon the flesh
Self-interest: Broadway to death
Pride and the Greed
Hide and subdividing the seed
The knowledge of Good and Evil is what caused us to lie
Caused us to die
Let your emotions be crucified
Renounce all your thoughts
Repent and let your mind be re-taught
You'll find what you sought...was based on the deception you bought
A perception of naught
Where the majority remains caught

Loving a lie
Not realizing in Adam, all die

Loving a lie
Not realizing in Adam, all die

Loving a lie
Not realizing in Adam, all die

Loving a lie
Not realizing in Adam, all die





It's the mystery of Iniquity
Say it's the history of Iniquity
Say it's the misery of Iniquity
When it all...
All falls down
I'm telling you all...
It all falls down